- Goodbye, Dear
How seldom now do you begin with Dear,
Both warm and formal (civil) but a mere
First name — “David:” — like a Sir or Madam
Summons to a wayward child of Adam,
No salutation as in Saint Paul’s Letters,
Your curt tone saying one should know his betters
As if you bid a servant or a beast,
And you in all these emails not the least
Aware of such abruptness being rude —
Public, private address grown crass and crude —
And so, in closing, I reply (hit Send)
Goodbye: And let this conversation end.
- Toll Free
Reception bad on my cable TV
I punch the 800-number. Technically
Pleasant an artificial female voice
Says “Hi. I’m here to help you. Make a choice:
English? Español?” “Latin.” “Choose again.”
“English.” “OK. Now we can start.” (I’m in.)
“Let’s try to find the problem.” “Well . . .” I pause
Wanting to be quite clear while cause on cause
Is quickly listed for my “Yes” reply
Or cordless button-pushing as I pry
To get more than a word in though the toll
In time and patience, rising, tries the soul
Till “No’s,” then silence, prompt a change in tone:
“I need my supervisor. Hold the phone
Two minutes.” Twenty pass. A curt “Hello”
To which my Latin tells him where to go
As “thanks for calling but we seem unable
To understand the problem with your cable”
And “this call has been monitored . . .” play through,
Reception clear as church bells, ringing true.
