Like Phil Harris Said, “That’s What I Like About the South”

I write a lot about the South. But then it seems necessary if you think “conservative.” That is conservative, not necessarily Republican.

Conservatives aligning themselves with Republicans do so because politics is a realm of life much like the environment where dogs live; that is wherever they (dogs) can accredit their lives best.  Conservatives are much like working dogs: Bird Dogs, Bloodhounds, Labs, or maybe Herding (like my good friend, Hank, the Sheltie).

Democrats are much like those unfortunate canines who have been seized by rabies–no hope for offering anything except to damage and/or destroy others and their property.

Republicans are like the lovable mutts known as yard dogs. They are friendly and happy but intelligence is sorely scored. They mostly are content to accept treats, chase a ball or two, wag their tails, and eat their own feces.  Happy are Republicans chasing balls and having a nice lunch to eat and re-eat, etc. These last ones are more often seen as the pack leaders.

Many are pretty nice as dogs go, but with the occasional exception of a Donald Trump or a Ronald Reagan the biggest bunch are about as useful as you-know-what on a boar hog. And even when you get a Reagan or Trump you are in danger of the political consultant and his fleas (advice).

The South has a lot of Republicans who bark and will tree a squirrel from time to time, but when it comes to their environment (remember the dog world) they will climb the heights of hydrophobia before whistling Dixie.  They will cower like some phantom Pit Bull is about to attack if any mention of any of the old Confederate flags or symbols is even suggested. They are allowed to touch on (just barely) Thomas Jefferson or George Washington in cocktail conversation, but any mention of Robert E. Lee or Jefferson Davis is like a dog alert of barking and hollering that an impending stampede of a large herd of ticks threatens them. That’s when the Southern Republicans start becoming sullen Republicans. Or yapping chihuahuas.  A false feisty—barking for attention.  But no actual threat.  This would be a Mitch McConnell or a Linsey Graham type “dog.”

The cowardly excuse most Southern Republicans use is that they will lose ground to the left-wing extremists and socialists if they don’t act like Yankee Republicans. Those Yankee Republican are the ones who love wars and Patriot Act(s) and such stuff that really are fascist-type seeds of sickness. These are really sleeping dogs who worship the Republican party and are afraid (if not hate) of conservative concepts.

That is to say that the South would be a fine place except it was once a racist wolf (the evil dog) and the rest of the country (mostly Yankee sheep) led by its chief mutt, Abe (here Abe, here Abe, fetch) corrected those evil St. Barnards of the Jeffersonian and agrarian pedigree.

This is when it is clear these yard dogs can’t hold a point because they have no instincts to point. They don’t even instinctively know that they must point or there is little result in the hunt.

If Republicans really want a red wave they better get in step with The Bonnie Blue Flag. With Dixie, with true conservative and agrarian thoughts down south. The South has always been the true “green” people—the farmers, the ranchers, the God-believing sinners who know they are (sinners) but know that this is part of the conservative concept—honesty. They know what keeps the planet green. And it ain’t some over-structured, plodding windmills nor grifters selling solar panels.

If there are any true Republican conservatives let them come down South and shout and cheer when Dixie is played. Let them remember this:

In 1946 Walt Disney won numerous awards for SONG OF THE SOUTH, the rendition of Joel Chandler Harris’s stories about Uncle Remus, a black man as wise as Solomon, and as loved.

As to the dogs:

Today Walt Disney is gone. What is left is a black hole of sickness and degeneracy in his company. The Disney dogs of Pluto, Lady and the Tramp, the 101 Dalmatians, etc. have been traded for “woke,” diseased, rabid puppies.

If Republicans want true conservative hopes, remember the South. The Johnny Reb South! THE federal republican South.

Maybe at least you can get a Rand Paul type instead of scalawags like Mitch McConnell, Linsey Graham, or Nikki Haley.

And lastly, a little Biblical clarity from Proverbs: “As a dog returneth to his vomit; so, a fool returneth to his folly.” 26:11

Note: The views expressed on abbevilleinstitute.org are not necessarily those of the Abbeville Institute.

Paul H. Yarbrough

I was born and reared in Mississippi, lived in both Louisiana and Texas (past 40 years). My wonderful wife of 43 years who recently passed away was from Louisiana. I have spent most of my business career in the oil business. I took up writing as a hobby 7 or 8 years ago and love to write about the South. I have just finished a third novel. I also believe in the South and its true beliefs.

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